Squeezing life’s lemons

(supposedly royalty-free clipart...)

What’s that one about what we’re supposed to do when life throws us a lemon? Something about adding a bucketload of sugar and turning it into a sickly sweet fizzy drink...    uuugh, sounds pretty icky to me.

I reckon rather just stick with the lemon the way it is. Juice every drop out of it and drink it straight. It’ll be sour beyond belief, and you’ll feel every cell in your body’s puckered for a while, but before you know it, the sourness is gone and life’s good again. And the bonus is that you’ll feel more awake than you ever thought possible!

I got handed my lemon the other day. One week I’m running through the desert, up and down dunes, having the time (and race) of my life, and the next I can’t even walk properly.
Physio + sports doc + bone scan = stress fracture of the femur.
Grade 3.
No weightbearing exercise for 6 weeks, and no running for 12.

A big, firm, juicy, bright yellow lemon.
Picked straight from the tree of life.

TWELVE weeks?? That’s three months!   I’m still not sure which sounds longer.
That’s a lot of arms-only swimming.

Rest, I’m told, is the fast – and only – way to heal bone. So rest I must. Dreaming of when I can feel awake again.

So for now my exercise is to walk as lightly as I can on my legs, and to make friends with a set of borrowed crutches for the 23 steps up to our house. Meantime, I’m told, I should MILK the crutches!

According to a crazy trail running mountain man I know (mentioning no names, hey Eric!), having crutches opens up a whole new world of sporting delights.
Some creative uses for crutches:
-       marshmallow toasting sticks
-       pool cue
-       fishing rod
-       jousting
-       pole vaulting
-       hooking a waiter when you need service
-       giant pair of tweezers for changing a light bulb on the ceiling
-       stoking the fire (although that one’s a bit dubious)
-       waving around vigorously to clear space if claustrophobic in crowds
-       flag pole
-       for tapping the shoulder of the person ahead of you in a queue (quickest way to get to the front of the queue!)

Any more ideas most welcome. They'll help me pass the time...